My Journey

I guess I should have gave you a little background on Tina and I yesterday. But I was just excited I could get this working. I will talk about mostly myself here now, I don't want to spoil Tina's time sharing.
Do you remember where you were when you first found Christ, if you have not found Him, don't give up He is waiting for you. But I remember where I was I was 8 years old and was going to a vacation bible school at the church at the end of the block. Around the 3 day the preacher asked the question that if we wanted to be saved and to receive Jesus to come up front and pray. I was with a group of my friends and we all went forward. As we were on our knees praying I felt something press against my side next to my heart. I thought it was Bill poking me, so I slowly opened one eye to look at him and it wasn't Bill he had his hands clasped in prayer. So I thought it must be one of the ladies behind us helping the preacher. So I slowly moved my head to look around but nobody was near me!! We we said Amen I rushed down the alley home to tell Mom what had happened. Mom was sort of well you know how adults can get right? When I told her I wanted to be baptised that Sunday she explained what a heavy commitment that it would be and that she didn't think I was ready. So my first time that Jesus spoke to my heart I was turned away... not by any maliciousness on my Moms part but thinking a child was not ready to make that sort of commitment.
But Mom never stop me nor my sister from going to church, Dad was a member of the Church of Christ for years then there was some sort of split and hard feelings so Dad lest the church never to return. (Though before he died of cancer a few years back he did spend a lot of time in the company of the pastor from the Church of Christ, we will meet again one day in Heaven, Amen) So I went to Baptist, Episcopalian, Methodist, Catholic etc.. you get the idea. But I never got fully involved with a church I was young and liked to have a good time you know what I mean, people to meet, girls to date, beers to drink. Looking back on it now I was lead by the world and by Satan, I was looking to make myself happy and not the Lord.
I stopped what little bit of church going I had been doing and lived my life my way. But I always thought I was missing something but I could never put a finger on it. Oh I know what I'll go to the service travel the world and I'll find it...nope that wasn't it! Oh I know I need a family, so I got married to someone that already had a little girl this will make it right wouldn't it....Nope it got worse much worse there was drinking, cheating, stealing and more cheating and that was her not me, I just stayed in a stupor more and more totally lost.
By this time my Mom and Dad had split and Mom had meet another man and married started to go to church and she really began to pray for me. I decided that my marriage was over and started court procedures when my step father passed away. I came to Parkersburg for the funeral and then decided that all I had to go back to Florida was a job and future ex-wife and I could get both of those right here.
So I started going to church with Mom at her church. I have to admit that when my job started to schedule me for midnights Saturdays and Sundays it didn't hurt my feelings. There was just something about the "club" I just never felt comfortable with. But I know God was calling through all of this I just refused to listen. I was too busy being single again going out parting drinking you've been there haven't you. But I never lost touch with God I stilled prayed to Him when I needed to but I did it in private and I never praised Him when I received blessing.
I had swore off getting married again and was happy with my singleness. Or at least this is what I have told myself. Till one day a lady at work said she had a friend she thought we would hit it off just great. I told I was happy being alone and didn't need a woman to mess things up. But she was quite persistent and I agreed to meet her at a party this lady was giving. Now I am not one for blind dates, I had enough of those at closing time at the bars (you know when you can't see what your leaving with) so I call this other lady up and asked she would like to meet and have a cup of coffee or something before we would get stuck together at a party. She agreed and we meet at a BK and guess what she brought her mother with her. We were in our mid 30's and we had a chaperon. But we did hit it off great so great that that lady is now my wife Tina. Thank you Sharon to the intro.
Now things have not been a bed of roses for us. But we did decide we would start going to church and we went to my Mom's church again. Everything was fine for a about a year I was digging deeper into the bible learning, growing starting to make out a faint voice but it never came through clear. We attend a missions dinner on night, this in where various missionaries came and shared their missions with us, what they were doing how they were accomplishing it and what they needed to keep it going. The first couple were very good and I could even see myself doing this. But then one of them started to rip apart a different denomination, Tina said she felt me stiffen up. Then the next one did the same thing to top it off our preacher stood up at was doing it and I do not remember much of the rest of the speakers. On the way home (45 Min drive each way every time we went to the church) Tina asked me if I was going to say anything at that point we were about 15 from home so a 1/2 hour of silence w/ Tina's Mom in the back seat. I said I would never walk through those doors every again. (To this day I have not)
Well I got back to the solitude time with Jesus trying to figure how it was the harder we worked the further in debt we would go. Tina's health began to get worse and worse, every time she tried to go back to work something else would happen to her and the more OT I worked it went to pay the co-pays of meds and doctor visits. We never had money to do anything go to the movies or taking her out to dinner became me grilling something on the grill out back. 3 years ago I was at my limit I was six into a case and I was thinking. Tina was not happy scrimping by and not being able to do anything. I was happy not being able to provide for her better, so how can I stop this crazy vicious cycle....I had life insurance with a company and at work....I was worth more dead than alive.... how can I make it look like an accident because suicide canceled out the policies..............That is when you know sometimes God whispers to you, but sometimes he really needs to get your attention and He will use a 2X4 or a sledgehammer to get it. The next thing I knew there was a bright flash of light and I was face down on the back deck. I heard a powerful voice that said, "Gary, Tina doesn't need your money... she needs you to hold her comfort her to be with her. Your kids don't need your money....they need you to listen to them to teach them and pick them up when they fall. Your grandchildren don't need your money...they need you to teach them lead them guide them through their life. GET UP and carry your cross and follow me, I am always here for you and will never forsake you. You are not done yet and I am not finished with you yet. Go and find my flock.
Well I went inside with tears in my eyes I poured out every beer in the refrigerator and rinsed them out (I always did this can't stand stale beer smell) and went to bed. Now when I got up I felt great and Tina was already up and about. I was really excited and wanted to talk to her and when I went into the front room she was very, very cold toward me. What in the world did I do now!!!!! She pointed to the 24 upside down EMPTY beer cans on the counter and that if I wanted that stuff(good word compared to what said) more then her she would just leave. I explained that I had poured them down the drain and that I felt we needed to get back to church. Well this seemed to make her a little happier (I never told her the whole story until my testimony at church). She asked what church I was thinking about and I mentioned the Methodist Church we pass on the way to McConnelsville. We mentioned this to her Mom and she thought that would be better that driving clear to Pburgh. That night Chad and some friends came out for a Bonn Fire cook out and party we didn't get to bed till after 3 in the morning. We didn't get to go to church that morning. But Tina's mom who never goes anywhere by herself especially someplace where she will not know anybody....went by herself. When she got home she was so excited she could not contain herself(very much unlike her). Tina and I went that Sunday and have been back into church every Sunday since then. We have been to numerous Lay speaker classes and are currently the Pastors of Chesterhill and Pisgah UMC'S while taking more classes for pastors. You know we still are living paycheck to paycheck but once we gave ourselves total to Christ we have never had our needs not met. Normal more then what we need and it has been an awesome ride.
I hope and pray that with this blog, we will be able to help others that maybe struggling themselves to let them know that there is somebody there for them. If you ever need somebody to pray for you are with you you can e-mail us at nvcmforChrist@yahoo.com we with the grace of God will have a website that can be another way to share information with people out here on the web. May God bless and tend to the needs of all visiting this blog.